If you're single in Memphis you're probably fucked

To fuck or not to fuck?

2011-09-13T22:18:00.000-07:00

Before I go into this blog, it was brought to my attention that the newest penis needs a pseudonym like the others...there's a few that come to mind: YB (young boy, as hes a few years behind me...haha behind me), CB (computer boy, as this all started with him fixing my computer), MTB (matching tattoo boy) and DB (dimple boy, cause i freakin adore his dimples...which is odd, cause normally im not a fan.) So someone decide for me. Anyway, on to the fucking or not fucking. I realized tonight that YB/CB/MTB/DB had left a cd he was using to fix my computer with here. So I texted him. To which he replies "damn i guess ill have to come get it sometime, if thats ok with you." And i say that i could always drop it by his job, to which he replies "or i could bring some more orange vodka" which was the beast that ripped our clothes off in the first place. Then starts a back and forth of cryptic sexting and basically I told him I didnt wanna be a fuck buddy but Id probably still jump him if he showed up with vodka. We may have plans tomorrow night, but I told him Id let him know tomorrow. I am def fuckgirl. But I do enjoy him. Ah what a pickle I am in. My head knows to not let him come over, or come in at least, yet my vagina is screaming PLEASE FOR GODS SAKE!!! So, to fuck or not to fuck? to be fuckgirl or not to be? I am torn between my vagina and common sense.
xo-Roxy

The Fuck Girl

2011-09-12T20:28:00.000-07:00

So it has been a looong while since I've posted. Basically there's been that little to blog about. But tonight a friend said I should resurrect the blog and I figured I may as well, since I was back to my normal silly activities this weekend. And by silly activities I really mean misplacing my frontal lobe and acting like an ass. I believe I last left you with me being miserably single and having car sex. The former has not changed, but no recent car sex. The last moron that I dealt with most of last year, and a bit of early this year is 100% done with. He's a tard who gave me a huge self esteem boost because all he dates is trash (and he wouldnt date me. HA). So, more recently I have met a boy. A boy who blew my mind. A boy who, despite his age (younger than me...) is nearly 100% ideal. He believes what I believe, likes the same music, movies, is totally hilarious and really smart. Not to mention he's cute as shit and has these dimples that nearly make me cream myself. Oh and weirdly, we have the same tattoo. We got along great right off. We exchanged numbers, texted endlessly for about two days then practically nothing. Finally made plans to hang out like we'd been talking. We were going to go out and drink but I realized I didn't want to rack up a huge bill trying to drink myself out of my social awkwardness so I told him Id grab some booze on my way home from work and he could come hang at my place. Look, I'm not an idiot, I know what these types of invites are supposed to mean. But I swear it wasnt like that. Im more comfortable (IE much less freakishly awkward) in my own place, plus it was hella cheaper. So for about four hours and a 750 ml of orange cream flavored vodka later, all we'd done is laugh and talk and it was amazing. it was like 4 am. No clothes were off. I was in awe that Id found this person. Then...he kissed me. And kept kissing me. Next thing I know he'd yanked me on top of him on my sofa and I was involved in a hit and run high school makeout session. well except I wasnt running. I was thoroughly enjoying it. Im not much for extensive making out, as I really would rather get my clothes off and get down to business. But it was nice. Especially since it wasnt going anywhere. About an hour later, we came up for air. we gasped at the fact that it was 5 am. We were both hammered. He went into my bedroom cause I had jokingly told him earlier not to enter my lair. He sat on my bed. said it was comfortable, then went to pee. Then we started making out in the hallway, then on my bed. Then his pants were off. Long story short, we ended up screwing. I tried hard to resist it, knowing better. But its been a while and I really stopped caring. So we had some delicious sloppy drunk sex. Good times. We woke up the next morning like nothing had happened. It was strange. But now I think Im the fuck girl, and nobody dates fuckgirl. Cause shes the girl who put out right away. SERIOUSLY THOUGH?! Gah. There is something between us though, I swear. So I dunno what to make of it, we text here and there. I am just so pissed to let myself be fuckgirl. And this is about it. Hopefully more adventures in frontal lobe loss soon (why I am hopeful I dont know), as my single friend Erin and I venture out lots lately in search of penis to prey on. Meanwhile-thoughts of first time fucking? Being the fuckgirl, and do guys date the fuckgirl? Could it happen?
xo-Roxy

its about to get real emo in here

2010-04-18T22:40:00.000-07:00

yea im really lonely. its annoying. im used to it. and deal with it, usually quite well. and actually most of the time i find being single to be pretty fun, but when its not, its reallllllly not. sigh.

oh no no sir

2010-03-30T18:52:00.000-07:00

definitely no boyfriend. Roxy is still single. May I reiterate the title of my blog? Ugh.

soo...

2010-03-20T21:47:00.000-07:00

i feel a boyfriend coming on? really?? could this be the end of single Roxy?? updates soon...

car sex

2010-03-08T22:01:00.000-08:00

fun at the time. super sucky the days following when your shins are bruised to shit and youre in pain....

the end

2010-03-04T20:59:00.000-08:00

and he made it clear to me today he didnt wanna date right now. OK THANX BYE =D

oh for fucks sake...

2010-03-03T23:09:00.000-08:00

why is he so confusing??? too busy to hang out and whatever but texting all the time, saying "mwuah" when you go to bed im sorry WHAT THE FUCK just kill me.

and next please

2010-03-01T15:18:00.000-08:00

dont think he likes me anymore. oh well :(

ugh

2010-02-27T21:28:00.001-08:00

fuck this

still single

2010-02-26T21:12:00.001-08:00

BUT this is a bit of a different entry. As in not about rampant sexual escapades (but hopefully leading to that!). So Last saturday night, long story short, my car broke down. The friend who I was hanging with at the bar was also hanging with a friend of hers, we'll calllll hiiimmm..... OB...ahahaha OB is a tampon brand right? well in this case it's Old Boy. Cause hes old. Anyway, so he tried to resolve my dead battery situation and he knows lotsa car stuff so he gave me his number and said to call me if something happened on my drive home. But I was still uneasy I'd make it home so he ended up following me. Well I got about 3 blocks before my car died. So he hooked up some cables and we sat in his car charging mine for about 45 minutes, then I parked it at a nearby friend's house and he drove me home.

Meanwhile I really enjoyed the time we were in his car. He is incredibly funny and nice and smart and uh oh I think I like him! Damn. So i texted him when I got home telling him thank you (AND so he'd definitely have my number now...teehee slick huh?)and we texted back and forth a bit(!) and then we texted more the next day. Then a couple days later we texted allll day and the day after that we texted more. All the texting is cause he's out of town for work. SO I told him we should hang out and do some drinking. He mostly seemed down. But its been two days since we've really talked. Last night I texted him telling him how awesome the moon was. Then this morning he responded and when I got up this afternoon I responded to him with something about him texting me so damn early. But for the last two days thats the extent of it. I really am not fond of dating simply because of this whole "game." Im a very forward and upfront person. But apparently in the dating world there is a fine line between im super interested and im super crazy. Ya dont wanna text/call too much cause then you come off as needy or too eager, but then ya dont wanna never make contact cause then they think you've lost interest. Im pretty sure hes interested, i mean, why text so much if youre not? I dunno. This is why i dont really date cause its stressful and stupid and is made to be far more complicated than it should be or truly is. shouldnt it just be "hey i like you, and you like me, so lets talk and hang out"? So Im backing off for a while and hopeflly he will text/call when he gets back in town to hang out. I can only chase so far until I just dont give a shit. Cause really I am quite adorable and should be recognized as such!

well Im no dirty whore...

2010-02-20T01:22:00.000-08:00

but I got called a whore during sex recently. um...

ive never encountered much dirty talk during sex, an occasional word here or there, and im not able to think enough to say anything, and dont really care to say much. just not something im into...but the whore thing...im not offended like "omg he totally called me a whore omg" im more just...well i didnt like it at all lol and it makes me shudder to think about. I truly cant get past it. halp!

oh bai TB

2010-01-09T18:23:00.000-08:00

annnnnnd they're back together. ugh. pick one!!!

oops, happy new year!

2010-01-03T12:58:00.001-08:00

I posted a lame penis blog before i posted a new year blog! happy new year errbody! I had an AMAZING new years! Thanks to the ex i havent had a good one in oh like THREE YEARS! But me and two gals from work went out, MAN FREE, to the casino to see DJ Jazzy Jeff perform! It was so fun, we danced for hours, drank too much and had a really freakin good time. I mean confetti falling from the ceiling at midnight always warrants a good time right?! Anyway, so its ab out damn time, and Im feeling more positive than I have in a long time. Cause Im really just trying to. Im applying for my loan for school next week too so pray for me guys I NEED THIS! Just imagine the awesome blogs id have to write if im single in new york city?! it could be some crazy shit. Anyway, hope everyone had a good new years, and if not, its just a day right? Make the next ones better. And really time is all relative or whatever they say and the calender is just a thing and dates and months and years arent real. Were just living a long string of sunrises and sunsets, half empties and half fulls. Do what makes you happy so its half full more often than not =) Lookit me getting all philosophical and deep and shit :p until the next dick---

xo

oh hai TB

2010-01-02T20:37:00.000-08:00

tb is single again yaaaaaaaaaay for my vagina!

not really a poll

2009-12-26T21:33:00.000-08:00

is it lame to really really REALLY want a kiss at midnight on new years? =(

nothing new

2009-12-22T23:04:00.001-08:00

still no prospects.

Dont get it twisted guuurrrrrllll

2009-12-14T21:46:00.000-08:00

SO this blog is almost pure trash and sleaze. I am aware. That was the intention. So many people are so closed up about sex. I'm pretty open about that stuff because I'm human and I am sexual and am not ashamed :) But I'd like to make it known that I am not trash and or sleaze. I'm not easy to sleep with and have not slept with a lot of people. My "number" is still in the single digits. Nevertheless, I like sex a lot. I also like drinking a lot...though that has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. I guess that's all about that anyway.

SO last night I was thinking a lot about the ex. The ex I was with for almost 7 years. I missed him immensely. I never know if I'm ever missing him because I'm lonely or because I truly miss HIM. I was thinking about some of the little things I miss that are specific to our relationship. Though I do think I am just incredibly lonely. It would be super awesome to meet a decent guy that I'm not just trying to bang that wants to hang out with me to make me realize how over the ex I am. And stop thinking about the past when I get lonely. Cause I only go back to it when I'm by myself. And it's really getting to be annoying. Kthx.

we are done so

2009-12-13T16:53:00.000-08:00

stop grabbing my ass and putting your hands all over me in public ya shit!

It doesn't matter the penis, it's still attached to an idiot.

2009-12-09T11:39:00.000-08:00

it's over. no more of his dumbass. on to the next one.

It's true...

2009-12-07T23:34:00.000-08:00

Oh the clever
things I should say to you
They got stuck somewhere
Stuck between me and you

Oh I'm nervous
I don't know what to do
Light a cigarrette
I only smoke when I'm with you

What the hell do I do this for?
You're just another guy
OK, you're kind of sexy
But you're not really special

But I won't mind
If you take me home
Come on, take me home

I won't mind
if you take off all your clothes
Come on, take them off

'Cause I like you so much better when you're naked
I like me so much better when you're naked
I like you so much better when you're naked
I like me so much better when you're naked

Oops I did it again...

2009-12-07T18:47:00.000-08:00

"I like you so much better when you're naked"

So I met up with [MSG] last night. The usual deliciousness took place. But later I got thinking about something and a coworker were talking about. She brought up the question "is it ok to have a fuck buddy?" I told her I thought it was, so long as you're not sleeping with half the city, and you're safe, etc etc. I really do think it is ok, she seemed a bit on the fence. How do you guys feel about a "fuck buddy" And if it's ok, at what point does it become not ok? I firmly believe in not hanging out with your FB because someone is garanuteed to get emotional about the whole thing. Does anyone think it IS ok to hang out with them outside of sex? So much to think about...I will think over delicious vegan nachos...

Like a boy

2009-11-30T18:35:00.000-08:00

I love that I've got man-brain now. It's fucking awesome!

It's been a minute.

2009-11-28T09:28:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone had a good tofurkey day! I went to my best friend's house and cooked with her and she had her b/f there and her brother and his wife over. It was pretty nice. I've been housesitting since wed. night so I've only had my iphone to access the internet for the most part and shit be too small on that screen to come on here and try to update. I mean I could but I know I'd get really frustrated. And really, there's not much going on in my life to make iphone blog updating worth it. Anyway. so...housesitting is fun cause I get to get away from my mom for a bit and lounge around in mah draws and watch ood network and drink every night. I think I've been drunk every night since that wed, maybe thurs. Ive broken out in hives on my face and neck so that fucking sucks. No clue why. So now I'm a circus freak...Oh yea and thanksgiving sex FTW! Yea that's right. Shit was insane. Til next time turds!

GROSS.

2009-11-19T22:37:00.000-08:00

Sophia and I ventured out tonight to drink and sort of celebrate her leaving her shitty job. We went to Red Bar and then headed to PnH. Now the fun of PnH is going in the girl's bathroom and reading all the shit thats on the walls. And ever since I met TB I noticed there's tons of shit written about him. And there's been additions. Like giant writing on the bench in the bathroom. Oh and also his g/f wrote on the bench too. Oh you wanna know what she wrote? I'll tell you! teehee

"[TB] cheated on me so hard. He is fucking scum. <3 [anon]"

obviously I changed both names. I found it amusing. But as I read all of these musings about his dick all over the bathroom, I got a little disgusted. like a lot. Who knows how many girls he's been with. I am now considering quite seriously never fucking him again. Shame too, cause his dick is the shit. But he's a sleezy mcsleezertonfaceassface. Ugh. I need to get to the clinic STAT.
night!

It's time

2009-11-18T19:41:00.000-08:00

to stop looking like I eat Taco Bell everyday. Cause apparently that's what I look like. Lovely.

Close encounters of the TB kind

2009-11-16T08:11:00.000-08:00

you drunk tit poking ass grabbing OBVIOUS motherfucker, way to be discreet!

That's the end of that.

2009-11-13T15:27:00.000-08:00

TB and his lady got back together while I was out of town. Now I'm sexless. Ugh. I'm too lazy to go searching for a new penis. Oh well. Onward and *hopefully* upward ;)

SIN SIN NASTY

2009-11-11T13:17:00.000-08:00

Went to Cinci for work on Tuesday. Saw the ex. I'm always awkward, but more so this time cause even though I don't have mushy feelings for him anymore, I've never seen him and not had those. So I didn't know ho to act. Ugh. But the work stuff went well and was fun. Meanwhile, looks like old TB is about to quit on me. He's "talking" to his ex again, so who knows where that's gonna go. Just when I find a good 'en! Lame. I also turned 24 over the weekend, got wasted every night. Especially sunday night, my birthday. In fact way too wasted; puking in my car wasted. I was a friend's ride, so he had to take me home and crash at my place. We totally cuddled all night and I completely forgot what that was like. It's so fucking nice to go to bed with someone and play big spoon-lil spoon. Ugh. At least I got waxed today! TB owes me birthday sex and we're supposed to get together now that I'm back in town...tonight maybe....and that's really how uninteresting my life is =( Later all.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

2009-11-01T01:12:00.001-07:00

No really, it was a happy halloween. Normally for me, nights that are supposed to be great, go horrendously awry. This halloween, however, turned out just perfect. All the usual qualities of a good night out were there : lots of drinks, friends, good music. However, I also got some ass out of it. In my car. In a random parking lot. Next to Idlewild Presbyterian church buses. It was quite a nice surprise. I knew TB would be where I was, however I didn't expect to make much contact with him, much less fuck him. Though I kinda knew something was up when he walked past me and brushed his hand across my waist. It had to have been the boob-baring shirt. Happy fucking halloween to me.

FUCK.

2009-10-29T21:40:00.000-07:00

So when I get drunk, like anyone, I do dumb things. I'm totally aware that it's a bad idea but I just never care. Possibly because I can blame the booze later. Possibly because I wish I could have the balls sober that I have when drunk. Also, when I am drunk (and I was pretty wasted last night) I get super overly emotional (and pretty dramatic too). So I decided to text one of my guy friends and confess to him that I've had a huge crush on him for a while. I am a fucking idiot. Although he did say he has considered and still considers getting together with me. Nevertheless I'm so embarrassed and kind of wished I'd fallen all the way in that manhole last night instead of one foot in and to the ground I went. Ugh. Or maybe I should just leave town.

I'm really starting to get irritated

2009-10-27T21:13:00.000-07:00

at being single. I know I know sometimes it's really nice not to have to answer to anyone, and have flings and blah blah blah. Yea it's not so bad. But goddamnit I really miss having someone to go to bed with. Oh and the anytime sex is nice too. Having someone who really digs you to hang out with is usually pretty sweet too. Years ago I had to learn how to be alone. And I did, mostly by running away to Spain. That's a whole other blog in itself. Nevertheless, I learned how to be alone, and be OK with it, so I am capable of being alone and not going entirely insane. However, during the years I also learned that while I can be alone, I dont like to be. Ever. In fact, I crave company, of any kind. Being alone with myself (and my bizarre thoughts) severely upsets me. And I'm so neurotic I often wonder how likely it really is that I'll be alone forever, just passing the time with random boys here and there. Hanging out with friends who aren't permanent, and drinking more often than I should, because it's one of the few things that keeps my mood up. Sorry this blog is so fucking depressing but today fucking sucks.

The Experiment is over.

2009-10-23T22:45:00.000-07:00

No not over because I've lost interest or have deemed the mission impossible. No ladies and gents, I hit that. The nerdy girl in the back of the class f*cked the football captain. And the results? Well the bathroom walls do not lie ladies, they do not lie. This boy had a rockin' cock. This boy knew what he was doing, and to top it off, this boy could actually kiss worth a damn. And I rarely get more than one of those, but suddenly the universe felt sorry for me and threw me a [big] bone. And now I may be addicted. He put crack on his dick I swear. Dunno if it's gonna happen again, but I'll live out the high of great sex for a while cause, for me, well the great part doesn't come along too often. Being single can be really stupid, as far as that goes. But hey, I get to go on bedroom adventures with pretty boys, so sometimes being single totally rocks. Especially when after you've had a good roll in the hay, you're told "you're pretty rad." Yes that's awesome. (side note, he decided to investigate my ass afterwards and pointed out all the freckles, it was strange haha but he was drunk...)

You're welcome ladies

2009-10-21T20:54:00.000-07:00

click for nakie Anthony Bourdain

Although I have to say I have mixed emotions looking at this, because you can tell he's an old dude. It's somewhere between being ridiculously turned on, and throwing up...

The Experiment.

2009-10-20T22:07:00.000-07:00

So I met this boy a few weekends ago.We call him TB (all my "boys" have two letter initials to identify them. There's been an EB, a PB, an MB, and now TB, for tattoo boy, not tuberculosis). Anyway, so this TB. He's really hot, and is like...midtown Memphis's equivalent to the high school football captain who fucked every cheerleader and their sister. This is the guy who EVERYONE knows. He has a bajillion friends on Facebook, and over 400 contacts on his phone. And oh yea, he's hot. I don't have hot boys after me much, but we made a little small talk, befriended each other on Facebook and then exchanged numbers. We text every so often. It's become more of a flirtatious sexual chase than just becoming friends. And at first, I just really wanted to bang him cause he was hot, but now it's an experiment. Apparently on the walls of a local bar, girls have written he has a huge penis (he's a slut, unfortunately). Girls have passed the word around by mouth (haha) as well. Also, I have two females who are really curious to know what it would be like but due to certain circumstances, they cannot hit that. So now I have two females and a blog to report to. He keeps postponing it though. It's getting very irritating. Last night he totally wanted me to come over but when he got home, realized he was too drunk and canceled our rendezvous. Lame. So here's to hoping I (or the other two gals) won't be disappointed, if I ever get it anyway....

You know who's sexy?

2009-10-20T12:52:00.000-07:00

Anthony Bourdain is sexy. Watching his show is like porn. Forrealz. He's always trying to get drunk, and making sexual innuendos. And he used to do blow but didn't turn into a junkie which is hot. I bet his dick is insane. Like the kind of insane that makes you unsure if you wanna do it again.