FUCK.

So when I get drunk, like anyone, I do dumb things. I'm totally aware that it's a bad idea but I just never care. Possibly because I can blame the booze later. Possibly because I wish I could have the balls sober that I have when drunk. Also, when I am drunk (and I was pretty wasted last night) I get super overly emotional (and pretty dramatic too). So I decided to text one of my guy friends and confess to him that I've had a huge crush on him for a while. I am a fucking idiot. Although he did say he has considered and still considers getting together with me. Nevertheless I'm so embarrassed and kind of wished I'd fallen all the way in that manhole last night instead of one foot in and to the ground I went. Ugh. Or maybe I should just leave town.

I'm really starting to get irritated

at being single. I know I know sometimes it's really nice not to have to answer to anyone, and have flings and blah blah blah. Yea it's not so bad. But goddamnit I really miss having someone to go to bed with. Oh and the anytime sex is nice too. Having someone who really digs you to hang out with is usually pretty sweet too. Years ago I had to learn how to be alone. And I did, mostly by running away to Spain. That's a whole other blog in itself. Nevertheless, I learned how to be alone, and be OK with it, so I am capable of being alone and not going entirely insane. However, during the years I also learned that while I can be alone, I dont like to be. Ever. In fact, I crave company, of any kind. Being alone with myself (and my bizarre thoughts) severely upsets me. And I'm so neurotic I often wonder how likely it really is that I'll be alone forever, just passing the time with random boys here and there. Hanging out with friends who aren't permanent, and drinking more often than I should, because it's one of the few things that keeps my mood up. Sorry this blog is so fucking depressing but today fucking sucks.

The Experiment is over.

No not over because I've lost interest or have deemed the mission impossible. No ladies and gents, I hit that. The nerdy girl in the back of the class f*cked the football captain. And the results? Well the bathroom walls do not lie ladies, they do not lie. This boy had a rockin' cock. This boy knew what he was doing, and to top it off, this boy could actually kiss worth a damn. And I rarely get more than one of those, but suddenly the universe felt sorry for me and threw me a [big] bone. And now I may be addicted. He put crack on his dick I swear. Dunno if it's gonna happen again, but I'll live out the high of great sex for a while cause, for me, well the great part doesn't come along too often. Being single can be really stupid, as far as that goes. But hey, I get to go on bedroom adventures with pretty boys, so sometimes being single totally rocks. Especially when after you've had a good roll in the hay, you're told "you're pretty rad." Yes that's awesome. (side note, he decided to investigate my ass afterwards and pointed out all the freckles, it was strange haha but he was drunk...)

You're welcome ladies

click for nakie Anthony Bourdain

Although I have to say I have mixed emotions looking at this, because you can tell he's an old dude. It's somewhere between being ridiculously turned on, and throwing up...

The Experiment.

So I met this boy a few weekends ago.We call him TB (all my "boys" have two letter initials to identify them. There's been an EB, a PB, an MB, and now TB, for tattoo boy, not tuberculosis). Anyway, so this TB. He's really hot, and is like...midtown Memphis's equivalent to the high school football captain who fucked every cheerleader and their sister. This is the guy who EVERYONE knows. He has a bajillion friends on Facebook, and over 400 contacts on his phone. And oh yea, he's hot. I don't have hot boys after me much, but we made a little small talk, befriended each other on Facebook and then exchanged numbers. We text every so often. It's become more of a flirtatious sexual chase than just becoming friends. And at first, I just really wanted to bang him cause he was hot, but now it's an experiment. Apparently on the walls of a local bar, girls have written he has a huge penis (he's a slut, unfortunately). Girls have passed the word around by mouth (haha) as well. Also, I have two females who are really curious to know what it would be like but due to certain circumstances, they cannot hit that. So now I have two females and a blog to report to. He keeps postponing it though. It's getting very irritating. Last night he totally wanted me to come over but when he got home, realized he was too drunk and canceled our rendezvous. Lame. So here's to hoping I (or the other two gals) won't be disappointed, if I ever get it anyway....

You know who's sexy?

Anthony Bourdain is sexy. Watching his show is like porn. Forrealz. He's always trying to get drunk, and making sexual innuendos. And he used to do blow but didn't turn into a junkie which is hot. I bet his dick is insane. Like the kind of insane that makes you unsure if you wanna do it again.